When everything goes wrong, how am I going to make it right ?

Too much things have been happening recently , what's worse if school starts , how can I cope ? I have been trying to take things easy and try to stay positive. Seriously , trying hard and I did ... But was all this self denial ??

First, I was upset with my own performance at work ... Two no show cases of assessment, did I not do enough to make it perfect? I knew I did my best, but I still screw up as I concentrate too much on my exam on the start of the month , and when I'm back to work., I concentrate too much on making his birthday surprise ... This negligence of work is totally unacceptable ... To me , I want zero no show case ! Am I seeking for perfection? Is my expectation too high ? Was it just me ?

Next, been running in and out of hospital due to grandma condition , we all knew that she do not have much time left and I certainly wanted to accompany my mum to go through this hard time , and I knew that she needs me the most ... But how could I make myself excuse from work ? That would be extremely irresponsible to do so ... I love my family but I can't neglect my work .. What should I do ?

Next , you left the present at my house . Is the present not important to u ? After doing so much for u ? I don like it when u pushed me away yesterday ... Do I deserve all these ? Why can't u treat me good like how u treat other girls ? Why can't u be soft to me rather than being fierce to me ? When is the last Time u said ... I love u ??

Sometimes , I really wished to have someone to talk to ... Last time , I have u ... But now , I do not know who to turn to... I had a bad day at work , being scolded by customer because I m protecting my own crew ... Had a busy and tired day , and another crew grumble saying I ignore her but I was troubleshooting the kvs .. N worse still , u call n attitude me ... N I was troubled with my ach enrollment ... Ya , make everything my fault so that all of u will be happier !!!!!!!!!



Fuck

I'm a very sensitive girl. If you know me well enough , I just want the one I love to care for me. I'm simple , and want nothing much.

Hope my baby loves the birthday surprise , present and tiramisu ! I swear in my whole life I have not done so much for a guy before! Love you baby ....

I have learnt to let go two things . It's not easy, seriously. Happier to let go at times. Happier if I don't think too much.

What's the point of acting you have the money in front of your friends and paying the bill and ended up you have problems paying your bill ? Sighs ....

You just don't understand . I don't like you go out with her , even though she is married , even though you guys are going out in a group . What I don't like is that everytime you already decided where to go , what to do ....so what's the point of telling me when you have already make a decision ? No matter I go , I always inform you . But you will never let me know . Probably I would be kept in the dark if I had not thrown temper yesterday .... Perhaps .....


You thought you knew me , you thought you knew .

Alone .

I do not know why , but I have been feeling down recently .... I feel bad too , but the feeling to be squeezed in the middle, do any of you understand ? Everybody thinks that I forced you to BBQ the food, but ... Sigh . Whatever other says or think , I will just keep it in .. They don't understand .... Why must I learn how to satisfy every single one when nobody cares about how I feel ??

Okay , you got your bike , you get what you want ... But all I want is for you to ride safely ... I'm not gonna ask you promise anymore things .... You always make your decision without me , so it doesn't make any difference ...

Don't like it again ! Whatever . Whether you will tell me or don't tell me , it's up to your choice ! Why must I always find out that you go out with them , including her only when I see her tag u in Facebook or when your friend accidentally spill out ? I'm jus like a fool !