Stress with my life definitely... Work , studies , projects , test , schedule ... Hopefully , I will be able to cope them well as usual ....

Things pretty much gets better ... But I have yet to put back the ring to my finger . Probably I'm trying my very best to keep a distance from you to prevent myself from getting hurt again ... But , one thing for sure , I love you .

I'm going crazy . Who would understand ? I used to have you to rant about my stress at school but now I do not know who to turn to. Im not letting go totally but having a short break could be good for us .... I will only want to spend my lifetime writ you. Only .

Alright . I know I'm not perfect . But I have my rights to at least sleep huh ? I have to work and study at the same time . It's not that I do not wish to accommodate ... People who are rich doesn't spare a thought fr others. I'm always being made used and than dump aside . Thanks ah ....

Are you giving up already ? I'm speechless , totally . Hurt.

You are the only guy that I truly love , and the only guy I ever thought of my future ...

I have not given up , but ....

For so much heartbreak, I'm trying to get used of my life without you ... Probably this would be the best way out ... But deep down , we know that as long as we have each other in our heart . I'm working hard for my future ...

Forgiving too much makes me forget who I really am .. When the cycle goes over and over again , I believed that both of us are tired ....

Im still pinning on hopes ..

Waiting for the day ....


Missed.

Back to square one , same old question , how much do you love me ? Feel so awful when you just wanna leave the house like that, leaving me alone. I don't understand ... This period of time , is the hardest time for me... Can't you just give me a little understanding ? I knew that I might have let you wait for 5 minutes after work , but it is my full time job. We may not be able to go for movies or dates like other couples , I may be studying right after work and you are there to accompany me .. You may feel bored but please know that I'm fighting for my future , hoping that it is our future too ... How can I confide in you when I made problems at work ? Sometimes need a big hug from you after 9 hours of shift and from all the tiredness , but the first thing is to be scolded by you when I came to meet you ... Try , try to live me life .. The life of working 9 hours per day and studying 4 to 5 hours per day .. I may have my little temper , but how can I not have a temper ?? Even those managers without studying already cannot take it .. Or those full time crews can't take it .. How can I as a full time manager and a part time student take it ? I wanted so much to tell you how tired I am after work today , but I'm just putting up a strong front in front of everyone ! I wished to be myself in front of you , but now it seems impossible ...


I'm tired ... Real tired ..

Life is like a cigarette, without realising it you are puffing it away into the thin air and when start to realise it was gone and it will be too late. If only you realised that I could be this cigarette of yours.

It was never easy to forgive and forget but somehow if you want to be ruler of your life than you need to master BOTH of them at the same time. Some fights or problems were tough but worth it in certain ways. I start to question myself is all these worth it? I believe that, it will be worth it, so please don't prove me wrong. 

Remember for what I have been crushed down can always be rebuilt again for if you have strong foundation beneath it, build it back yourself or best, build it both together, remember for you and your life partners are one, and you should be working it out together no matter how touch it will be. 

I hope, we can build this foundation back together, despite the scars or hurt within. Let time wash away all the sorrows. 

*- If you do not know how to draw a clear line between yourself and other girls ;  than I will have to draw a clear line between me and you ; you make the choice -* 

There isn't a need to talk about building trust anymore when you can't even tell me one truth. Don't blame me for not trusting you in every single thing cause you brought all this upon yourself. Your action speaks alot. The present in your bike boot, when she mentioned she wanna vomit sitting on your bike, when you said you are at her house downstair waiting for her, I knew it that you went to fetch her. If your conscious is clear, just let me know... Why do you want to hide it from me? No matter where I go, what I do, I make it a point to let you know cause I respect you. And how about you? Do I even matters to you?

Now I don't even want to hug you when I'm sitting behind your bike, I cant stop thinking how other girl holding your waist behind you when you brake or whatsoever. Now I don't even wanna look you straight in your eyes, cause all I see in your eyes is LIES.

I chose to live on. I chose to let you do what you like. In future whether do you wanna be frank to be or lie to me, its all up to you. I have NO MORE TRUST or FAITH in you anymore. Don't blame me for being cold towards you.

This valentine day, so not looking forward.


My life = work + studies, and nothing else!


HURT once or twice, is enough to be painful for a lifetime.