And I cry myself to sleep every night.

You just don't understand me.

Why didnt the lorry just knocked me down?

I cant meet the expectation of others. Yes, so what if im just a part timer. other feels that i should know EVERY single thing. is shift messy my fault? am i even a junior captain or a manager who is running the shift? im just a part timer to be there to work to earn money! is the whole shift messy my fault? didnt i do my job? why am i always the one to be scolded. just bcos whenever ppl scold mi, i didnt talk back, and tats it? ppl take mi fr granted and scold me whenever they like.... scold me, stare at me, throw temper at me, just cos i didnt say anithing back? is tis fair to me? why am i the onli girl to be scolded huh? other girls looks weak, looks cute, small size, looks innocent, den jiu wont be scolded lar? why am i the one? pls, for goodness sake, im not that strong. is crying my fault as well? yes , i admit i cried easily but it could nt be controlled.

...hais..we have been quarreling recently...you and your assumption...whatever i do seems so wrong? maybe i should nt even talk to any guys at all...maybe.. i should not say anithing at all either... saying "huh" would be scolded from u as well... wat i wan? den wat do u want? wat do we want? wat happen?

i have always envy other people for the life they ever have and compare with my own life. Whenever I see other people having programs about their birthday and other people remembering their birthday, I tkhink of my own birthday. It reminds me of certain things. It makes me wonders, seriously, why do other people get to enjoy and I have to suffer?

Im not enjoying my life right now. But i have to encourage other people. Being strong on the surface doesnt means that Im exactly okay. Im not.

Dear blog,

Is me and him in two different world? Is what we wanna different? How to make him to be accepted by my family members? Im tired. I tried... I tried helping him to make my family members like him. But I failed. They dont like him anymore. How? It feels hurt to be sandwiched in the middle. Will he face everything with me? Or will he give up? Why? Why am I always the one? Why am I always the one to receieve all the negative comments? Others have no reason to judge my life. I live my own life. I dont nid anione to judge me. Shoo off!

Bye blog