The battle between heart and mind . I hate to feel the sense of insecurity ... I want to be loved and pampered ... I wished you could be more romantic ... I wished you could be more sensitive on how I feel ... Perhaps , I'm asking for too much ...

I can't help but always compare our relationship to your past relationship ... Why do I see the sweetness you had with her and you could do anything for her ? Am I not worth you to do so ? Because you pampered them too much in the past and now you feel that I should not be pampered? Is it fair to me ?

I seriously envy those sweet couples having sweet memories ...

Up till this day, I still ask myself , how much do you love me ? Why am I still asking this question again? When can I ever stop to feel the sense of insecurity ? Sometime I hope that you could be more romantic ... Sometime I hope that you can just stop scolding me ... I loved to be pampered but not to be scolded ... Sometime just some sweet SMS from you will brightened up my days ... Do you understand ? Feeling empty recently ... It's really different from the times before we got together and after we are together ... Sometime I really hope we can do some sweet things together ... Sometime when I see other guys being sweet to gf or to the girls they like , I seriously feel envy ......

Do u ever Know I spit out blood ? Do u know I met with problem with work ? Do u know that I need to study for my upcoming exam ? Do u know that I m trying my very best to be a good girlfriend ? How much have I sacrificed for u ? Sigh . Why are you good to me in the past but not now ? Why you want me to say please so much ? Before we get Tgt , u always SMS me ... So if we are Tgt already I need to take the initiative to SMS u ? Every changes ? I'm really tired . I'm really tired of all these .

How I wished I can be as successful I am in the past. Why do I always throw my temper whenever I'm tired ? I just need rest yesterday , don't you understand ? Do you understand the tiredness of me going through ? Having fever but still going to work ?

How unfair life could be ? I'm just tryig to pursue what I want . I sacrifice , I give up , but who is willing to at least understand me and give me support ? All I hear is discouragement , saying I will break down ... Hey , I just need some support here ... People are just so selfish ... It doesn't matter anymore ... Everything is my fault ... I just wanna have my rights... I will just keep quiet ... No point saying anymore ... In 18 months time, I will prove everyone wrong for sure ....!


Lastly , now I know , the one who is really by my side is you . Thanks for all the understanding ... We will make it through ... I know we will. I love u baby .

I'm just like any other normal girls , yearning to be loved. I may be hot tempered due to whatever I'm going through now, but I hope you could understand . I do feel bad whenever I throw my temper , but than again , who understand how I really feel ? Who really appreciate what I do ? Who really know the tiredness and stress level ? People always expect so much from me , I always have to understand others , but who is there to really understand how I feel ?