When everything goes wrong, how am I going to make it right ?

Too much things have been happening recently , what's worse if school starts , how can I cope ? I have been trying to take things easy and try to stay positive. Seriously , trying hard and I did ... But was all this self denial ??

First, I was upset with my own performance at work ... Two no show cases of assessment, did I not do enough to make it perfect? I knew I did my best, but I still screw up as I concentrate too much on my exam on the start of the month , and when I'm back to work., I concentrate too much on making his birthday surprise ... This negligence of work is totally unacceptable ... To me , I want zero no show case ! Am I seeking for perfection? Is my expectation too high ? Was it just me ?

Next, been running in and out of hospital due to grandma condition , we all knew that she do not have much time left and I certainly wanted to accompany my mum to go through this hard time , and I knew that she needs me the most ... But how could I make myself excuse from work ? That would be extremely irresponsible to do so ... I love my family but I can't neglect my work .. What should I do ?

Next , you left the present at my house . Is the present not important to u ? After doing so much for u ? I don like it when u pushed me away yesterday ... Do I deserve all these ? Why can't u treat me good like how u treat other girls ? Why can't u be soft to me rather than being fierce to me ? When is the last Time u said ... I love u ??

Sometimes , I really wished to have someone to talk to ... Last time , I have u ... But now , I do not know who to turn to... I had a bad day at work , being scolded by customer because I m protecting my own crew ... Had a busy and tired day , and another crew grumble saying I ignore her but I was troubleshooting the kvs .. N worse still , u call n attitude me ... N I was troubled with my ach enrollment ... Ya , make everything my fault so that all of u will be happier !!!!!!!!!



Fuck