Once ; twice ; never....

Being hurt once and twice is enough ; or rather more than enough I should say. When can you ever understand that I was serious and totally affected by you? All you do was to smile while I'm crying and hurt. Why must all these go over and over again like a cycle? Tell me, how am I supposed to find the trust and faith in you again? I tried to trust you again since last year, but all these had to happen again.

Am I not being a good girlfriend enough or are you lonely? Am I not spending enough time with you? Whats wrong seriously?


Totally hurt by you this time round ; I guess I wont be able to find back the trust I had in you anymore.

Thank god, I will LOVE myself more from now on.

I hope you would read this, if it happened again, sorry, I will be gone forever.

Hurt. Blinded. Gone.

Even though it was just a short trip to town with you and it's just a window shopping , I really enjoyed it ... You are the love of my life...

Well, girls are always sensitive ... Don't you know this ? I dunno why I'm being sensitive ... It's not a matter of no trust .. But it's a matter of how my heart feels .... Maybe I'm bein paranoid just because you are good friend to your ex.. Other people may be able to accept the fact that their current bf or gf can be friends with their ex.. But to me , I beg to differ ...

When everything goes wrong, how am I going to make it right ?

Too much things have been happening recently , what's worse if school starts , how can I cope ? I have been trying to take things easy and try to stay positive. Seriously , trying hard and I did ... But was all this self denial ??

First, I was upset with my own performance at work ... Two no show cases of assessment, did I not do enough to make it perfect? I knew I did my best, but I still screw up as I concentrate too much on my exam on the start of the month , and when I'm back to work., I concentrate too much on making his birthday surprise ... This negligence of work is totally unacceptable ... To me , I want zero no show case ! Am I seeking for perfection? Is my expectation too high ? Was it just me ?

Next, been running in and out of hospital due to grandma condition , we all knew that she do not have much time left and I certainly wanted to accompany my mum to go through this hard time , and I knew that she needs me the most ... But how could I make myself excuse from work ? That would be extremely irresponsible to do so ... I love my family but I can't neglect my work .. What should I do ?

Next , you left the present at my house . Is the present not important to u ? After doing so much for u ? I don like it when u pushed me away yesterday ... Do I deserve all these ? Why can't u treat me good like how u treat other girls ? Why can't u be soft to me rather than being fierce to me ? When is the last Time u said ... I love u ??

Sometimes , I really wished to have someone to talk to ... Last time , I have u ... But now , I do not know who to turn to... I had a bad day at work , being scolded by customer because I m protecting my own crew ... Had a busy and tired day , and another crew grumble saying I ignore her but I was troubleshooting the kvs .. N worse still , u call n attitude me ... N I was troubled with my ach enrollment ... Ya , make everything my fault so that all of u will be happier !!!!!!!!!



Fuck

I'm a very sensitive girl. If you know me well enough , I just want the one I love to care for me. I'm simple , and want nothing much.

Hope my baby loves the birthday surprise , present and tiramisu ! I swear in my whole life I have not done so much for a guy before! Love you baby ....

I have learnt to let go two things . It's not easy, seriously. Happier to let go at times. Happier if I don't think too much.

What's the point of acting you have the money in front of your friends and paying the bill and ended up you have problems paying your bill ? Sighs ....