Soft spoken, understanding you.
But who to understand me?

And I cry myself to sleep every night.

You just don't understand me.

Why didnt the lorry just knocked me down?

I cant meet the expectation of others. Yes, so what if im just a part timer. other feels that i should know EVERY single thing. is shift messy my fault? am i even a junior captain or a manager who is running the shift? im just a part timer to be there to work to earn money! is the whole shift messy my fault? didnt i do my job? why am i always the one to be scolded. just bcos whenever ppl scold mi, i didnt talk back, and tats it? ppl take mi fr granted and scold me whenever they like.... scold me, stare at me, throw temper at me, just cos i didnt say anithing back? is tis fair to me? why am i the onli girl to be scolded huh? other girls looks weak, looks cute, small size, looks innocent, den jiu wont be scolded lar? why am i the one? pls, for goodness sake, im not that strong. is crying my fault as well? yes , i admit i cried easily but it could nt be controlled.

...hais..we have been quarreling recently...you and your assumption...whatever i do seems so wrong? maybe i should nt even talk to any guys at all...maybe.. i should not say anithing at all either... saying "huh" would be scolded from u as well... wat i wan? den wat do u want? wat do we want? wat happen?

i have always envy other people for the life they ever have and compare with my own life. Whenever I see other people having programs about their birthday and other people remembering their birthday, I tkhink of my own birthday. It reminds me of certain things. It makes me wonders, seriously, why do other people get to enjoy and I have to suffer?

Im not enjoying my life right now. But i have to encourage other people. Being strong on the surface doesnt means that Im exactly okay. Im not.

Dear blog,

Is me and him in two different world? Is what we wanna different? How to make him to be accepted by my family members? Im tired. I tried... I tried helping him to make my family members like him. But I failed. They dont like him anymore. How? It feels hurt to be sandwiched in the middle. Will he face everything with me? Or will he give up? Why? Why am I always the one? Why am I always the one to receieve all the negative comments? Others have no reason to judge my life. I live my own life. I dont nid anione to judge me. Shoo off!

Bye blog

Life is unfair. Isnt it? Why are others born with silver spoon and I'm not? Why are other people so protected and I have to do everything? Why should I put in so much effort when no one understands and appreciate it? Why whhy why? Why doesnt anyone just understand how do i feel?

I'm tired. Who would understand? All my complains, my rantings about life....Other people just viewing it that Im thinking too much...Im taking things too seriously...but....for whatever that I have done for friend, what do i get back in the end? in the end, its only an exchange for the time that I sacrifice for my family....


Why do i feel so stress. depressed. paranoid? I cried. I cried on the way home. I cried when I bath. I cried to sleep. Am i like kinda of suffering from depression? I have no idea. I have no one to talk to. Many thoughts running thru my mind...but who can help me?


i just feel like im a failure. all the success that i;ve done in the past, is the past. i failed in interviews now, i feel inferior. i don perform well. i get stress up easily. i made mistakes. why. why is all these happening....



if only, if only someone understand what im gg thru.... no matter who i talk to. no one understands. i could only confide my troubles to you (blog).


dear blog. i always envy other people life. they can have money at any time they want. they work for fun and not work for money. they do not need to worry about bills and stuff. they can buy anithing they like.... they have perfect birthday. they celebrated it with many frens, make it grand.... but i always have to worry about money. worry about this and that.... birthday, much less to mention it. crying on birthday.... hais...why? same people, different life... wat to do>

cried on the way home. who wil understand?

fucking tired.

你会有一天，因为对我厌倦，而离开吗？

I know I do not belong there anymore and I do not know where do I belong?

It's sweet to see people celebrating their birthday happily. All of a sudden, I feel that all these year, for my birthday, it's nothing much special. And years passed by. Every year.




Well, perhaps it's time to go back Mac Cafe? Will i have too much commitment by that time?

That sentence hurt. Seriously hurt.

What is different people defination of care and concern? It can be seen and it can be felt. What's yours?


Where are you when I truly needed you? Care and concern is not by words only. It's not just telling me "be strong" will do. Well, as I said, different people different thinking, I cant control yours, neither could u control mine. But where are u when i need a hug frm u? telling me that everything would have been fine.


It's ok. It's alright. Everything's gonna be fine, I believe.

TIRED.



Not Appreciated.

I seriously had enough of everything...whats the point of getting a mc but you still need to work from home...when you tell your superior that you realli sick and not due to yr mum's condition, they stop replying you. what is all this? they don trust u. and they don care about u at all. dey don bother if u are realli sick but they want u to get the things to be done.... if i have the energy to go work, i would go. i would not have taken a mc...\


nvm. i will just do whatever i have to...at least i see how everything is like now...yes..tis is adult world and reality...do they even treat an intern student like a human? the ans is. NO

I should have viewed life in a lighter note.

If today was your last day, and tomorrow was too late. Could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last? Leave old pictures in the past, donate every dime you have? What's worth the prize, is always worth the fight. Every second counts, cause there's no second try, so live like you'll never live it twice.

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind, And try to take the path less traveled by.

Who is worth for me to fight for, and am i worth to be fight by others?

Sometimes a guest would appreciate and cares more than what an employer or colleagues does. Go on. This is the beginning of everything. Never say never, never stop your pace, or you gonna lose out.

There are moments in which i wished to have cry out loud. No matter how strong I'm, I need someone to care. Anyone. I do not need reprimandation. I need advise. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm striving for. But what's the worth of it? How much would it cost to gain the care and concern of someone? What could have been the best way to release all the stress level other than typing here in the blog? Who can I turn to?

If I had all the power in the world, I would buy time. I would have time to rest, time to work, time to spend with the one I wished to. Time, is all I need.

Never had I felt so depressed before. I'm stopping, slowing down. Why do I still feel the same? I need a break from everything.


Why isn't me as strong as the past? Phew~ One blow from the wind and I fall. Why is the ME that never says die? That never admit defeats? That reach her goal?


Always yearning from understanding from other people. Who would have? Because everybody is an individual. No one can ever understand anyone else cause all is pumping with different hearts.


Having 2 jobs, is seriously not easy.

d

Today marks the first day of me starting work at PoMo. Daily routine. Train-ed to workplace. Doing the same thing, but at different places. Menu changes, and it seems to have brought me back to one year ago when I first started joining Tcc. The feeling, the moments, is all different.

Vroomz, doing bar on the first day. Searched high & low for the items, but what to do?

No matter where i am, everything would be the same.


Four more weeks to go, i cant wait for everything to be over as soon as possible.

It's a blessing to have you by my side.

I love you.

I wont fall. Life is so cruel. Thanks. I see what is happening to this world. It hurts, but who cares about how I feel? All they wanna is just to protect themselves. I work so hard, do so many things for them, and they go one round to make use of me.


If you say I slow, the more i will prove to others that Im not. See my difference. I do not need to tell anyone that you are lying. I will not say, but I will prove.

Ultimately, I'm not able to handle the stress level Im having right now. I just need someone to talk to, especially you. But it seemed almost impossible cause you have your own stress as well. The only thing I can help you is to remain strong myself, but it's really hard to do so.


It doesnt matter to put in so much effort. cause no one appreciate. Process is not something that is wanted by others, all they need is result to be proven. They wouldn't care that much on how hardworking you are. It doesnt matter seriously.


So, work smart, dont work hard. Seriously tired. Is that place a place for human to work in? Even part timers are all stressed up. Sooner or later, all part timers will be gone... I miss the team in the past. How we worked hard together, how we upsell, how we grab sales......But, that team is gone...everybody leave one by one....

No point being too hardworking, or teaching other too much. No one appreciate and ended up being said. So why should I help others? When other people dont care and think that it is not my job to do so. Meant to help but kanna said, so what to do? No one appreciate it and im just making myself tired thats all.

Chiong chiong chiong. Chiong work. Thats my life. Look for my own frens, find own entertainment. Challenge my life alone. Keep myself busy so that I will feel that Im the one who is busy, not having time for u n nt the other way round. Sad. hurt. but wat to do~? I need to be more understanding, trying to be, i will be. I wont complain.


Stay away, let you do your things. And I will face everything myself. I do not need anyone. I do not need any company. I will not cry, I will not shout tired anymore. Will just remain silence.

How should I give my schedule for next week? Continue to chiong work? Or take a rest? Too many things have been happening recently. Report undone, lack of sleep. There are many times that I'm really tired. Don't seemed to have much directions in my life. Someone, guide me please.

Why do I have to face all the nags at home on my one and only off day out of this two weeks? Life seemed to be so meaningless for me. I might as well work for the whole of 7days every week. Lack of time, lack of sleep, lack of rest, lack of....many many things. I have no one to turn to. I wished you were here for me.

If saying how I feel would lead to a misunderstanding, than i would choose to remain silence. Than all I can ever do is just to remain silence, behind you, supporting you. I jolly well knew it that we do not have much time for each other. You are busy. I chiong work. I knew you could not accompany me, that's why I work. Very upset that all these would lead to a misunderstanding, that thought has never came to my mind. Sad, disappointed.

Let's just work hard towards our own life. Till my very last breath.

ilu, imu & inu.

Stress.

Negliance.

Alone.

Lost lost lost. It seemed like I'm having a split personality. It feels like I'm going through emotion unstable stages. Negative thinking, voices heard, evolving around, teardrops unknowingly. Being strong on the surface to prove how independent I was, but who would have understand that no matter how strong a tree is, it needs a root to support...And the question is, where is my root?


Brain dead. Boring life. No life. Freaking hell shit life with all the on-going stress. I've tried letting many things go. I tried looking things at a lighter note. I tried to tell myself everyday is a brand new day and live the best out of it. Ultimately, I failed.























Uncertainty. The difference of BEFORE & AFTER...












But there is one thing for sure, I miss you.

Standing still, hanging on, clinging on. Climbing high, but where's my directions? Trust? Position? Money? Ability? Prove?

Why am I so stupid?

It feels like Im all alone. I guess, Im really alone.

depressed

I just want my life goes the right way. My life, my path, is not just a career, it's a mission to be complete. I will, pursue what I should have. Who says without money, I would not be able to get a degree? I will, I must. It's an investment.

Relying? Reporting?

hais

我并没有大家想像中的坚强。对不起，脾气不好。我真的变了。只求得到你一丝丝的信任，真的有那么难吗？

心很酸。算了。我只是一个小妹妹。一个。。。不善解仁义， 幼稚，笨，的小妹妹。

想念。非常想念。你呢？

得到前，和得到后，一定会有分别。我感受得到。

雨后，会有天晴吗？

心痛，心落泪。

18岁的天空很蓝。18岁的时间很短。18岁的的.......的一切。。。

18岁，我已悄然走过。

面对19岁吧！

我只想做一天的你，了解你的心情。

爱多深痛多久
越痛越不放手
等你走远以后
剩我一个人
爱了太久
不想自己回忆太多
可痛又怎么忍的住
从前我一直不服输
现在我不得不服输

Only wishing for a shoulder to be leaned on when I'm in need. Seeking a shoulder to rest on when the tears are falling. Where are you?

多希望你是那颗永不松手的树。

MC for today. blahblahblah...really getting enough rest? I hope so... Hope I wont fall sick again. Back to work tmr!!!

"What to do?" That's my favorite phrase for the time being. I can't imagine what's my life gonna be in a few months time. Everything's gonna change again, I believed. Which stage of life am I in now? I've learnt to accept whatever I get now. But is this enough? Touch my heart, listen to the heartbeat.....

Swee, clear all the flag yesterday before handing over to celest. Cool. Than worked hub. Will be stucked in CRE for another two weeks I guess. Jiayou Sandy.


也许命运的签，只让我们相遇。

I guess Im really too busy to even blog man... Alright, my life have been revolving with tcc and fraser. working 7 days a week.... so so so tired... there are times when i really feel like breaking down... so i jus tend to go to toilet just to have a rest....i need more sleep....oh ya... now we have to wear mask and glove when doing bar... so suffocating... but wat to do?


i hope i can get a fever and no nid to go to work... -.-


hope u like it!

Another day had passed. I will like slapping her. #$((#$)($*#*$#) What's wrong with me greeting her with a GOOD AFTERNOON and she scold me? What the hell!



The world is so small.

How I wished I'm one of the student at Disneyland. One of my objective getting into this course is to go for the overseas attachment. But this dream is totally gone. If, if only I could have been one of the student attached over there, I would not faced all these now. If. If only if it really happens.


Face the reality. You are not some rich girl.

Arghhhh......I'm so tiredzz........ Front desk tomorrow. super duper sian....


Why why why? Why others can take netball as their life? Really kinda of missed the time of playing netball...hais.

5 more months to go, hang on there Sandy. You can do it. Nothing is impossible.

Do not dwell in the past,

do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Thanks everybody. To all my long lost friends, even Shuqin, where we have not met for 7 years, wishes me a happy birthday. Thanks. really thanks. Greatly appreciated, and of cos, to all my clsmate. (:


Indeed it's a different birthday for me. A "different" way & feeling. Never felt like this before.

This is the story of a girl,

where she cries & drowns herself in her world.

Thanks Mr.Walker, Aunty Lim, Stanley, Siauhui, June, Maurice, Adrian, Huicheng, Qixia dar dar, Zhixin, Weiping, Eugene.

Working in hospitality line, not only do we have to be sincere in serving the guests/customers, we do need to have a wide variety of knowledge. We have to know all the attractions in Singapore. -.-

No matter who you are, where you work, there's a need to face this cruel society. Be prepared to be backstabbed by colleagues, be prepared to see fake masks. But whatever it is, just do your job, and that's it. (:

HELLO! x)) Time to get ready for work!

我陪你走到最后
能不能不要回头
你紧紧地抱住我
说你不需要承诺
你说我若一个人会比较自由
我不懂你说什么
反正不会松手
我陪你走到最后
能不能别想太多
会不会手牵着手
晚一点再到尽头
你说不该再相见只为了瞬间
谢谢你让我听见
因为我在等待永远

(: