没有什么事情我做不了。我想要的，想做的，一定能做得到。

Are we really not meeting on Saturday? Sigh...... Tried my best to change my shift but impossible to trouble them too much.... Ya, probably we may not have the time to meet when you book out in the morning, maybe when I finish work is late, but why can't we meet after that? Don't we used to meet up with each other no matter how late it is? Arghhh... nvm. I just think too much.

PDS PDS PDS.... Awww...... Someone save me please. ><


I would really be glad if, for once, I could stay healthy for one whole month! Since I started working McDonald full time all the way till now, I have been falling sick every month! Dear god, please be good to me. ><

Next month, gotta have at least 3 weekends unable to spend with you. ;(

Weird.

I'm starting to panic again. Panic if I'm able to get back to studies, panic if I could survive by my own if I were to go back to studies, panic if I can make it through. Hating this kind of feeling, back to this kind of breaking-down feeling again and i definitely hate this. This feeling gets even worse when I fall sick. Sometimes, I just feel like giving up.


inu

How ironic .... Facebook is a good network however, it's a place we know who will he the true friends .

Now, you and her are Friends on Facebook ... Why the sudden acceptance of her???

I do not believe in sweet-talking, I only believe in... ACTIONS.


Action speaks louder than words.

Events


Little events, let me see the true colors of ' True friends '. True friends will be shown by action, how true it is?


For me to know, for you to find out. -/

I'm wondering if did you read my blog?

Sandy Yam what are you doing?! I shouldnt be so stressed ... Its only more things to do... I can do it I can do it..................... hais.

how am i gg to squeeze out yr essay?omg

Why do i feel so pek chek?

;(

What are words? They never go away...


Tired with my work, payroll, fast and friendly, pds. I have done none of them and my deadline is killing me... But I still chose to do your essay first......... Cant wait to see you tomorrow....


I chose to trust, I tried to trust.


` Provided if my heart have the faith ` -

Missing you

Can't wait for Saturday to arrive... This time round have lesser time to be with you. ;(

I really dont like the way you make me angry. Please, do not make me angry again okay? I love your embrance, I love your smell, I love you calling me Bai Chi, Ben Dan, Qing Ai De, Darling, Honey, Dear... Anything you name it. But, once I found out if you call any other girls the same way you call me, than, probably I'm not the special one in your heart. I don't care if it was meant to be "play play" or was it real, or you just say for the sake of saying it. To me, its about the respect you have towards your partner. Call me selfish, probably yes, I am selfish because I cant accept it if my partner calls another girl the same way he calls me...Probably it was all the past, probably it happened when we just got together, probably that girl is just a normal friend, but ya, I just dont like it. I know how to draw a clear straight line between me and other guys, I always wanted my partner to do the same to me too.


Love, how to treat one with proper treatment? Probably, remembering all the promises, remembering anniversary dates, dropping a simple sms just to wish me a happy anniversary... probably, I would be so glad enough and delighted.

I guess, partly, the fault lies in me. I do not know how to express myself when I feel hurt.



Baby, I just want to go back to the past.


Day to day, it seemed like I'm slowly closing my heart against you.... I'm afraid at any point of time you would hurt me. Till the day I stopped asking myself this question: How much do you love me? Than that would be the day I totally have 100% faith in you.


Love,
Bai Chi

Insecure.


Till this day, I still ask myself... "How much do you love me?" Why do I keep having all those thoughts running through my mind? I'm still feeling so insecured. There are so many things that I wanted to tell you, but I never had a chance to do so. I want to tell you how stressed I am right now, but I couldn't... Knowing that you are in NS, I wouldnt want you to worry about me. Facing so much problems with my family, and having the stress with work, I tell myself, I can do it. But this time round, without you by my side.

I want to tell you how much I treasure the times we had before we got together. But it seems like I cant turn back time. Sometimes I get so disappointed, probably you forget whats my favourite flavour for Hello Panda..Probably you always forget your promise towards me..... I wanted to go Disney on Ice, I wanted to go USS with you. I wanted to go fly kite at Marina Barrage with you.. I wanted to play ice skating with you, roller blade with you, no one else but you...I wanted to spend our anniversary and valentine day without fail, I would be glad enough if you would, remember when is the day of our anniversay....Sometime I just get so disappointed when you ask me what date is it today when it was supposed to be our anniversary.

How much do you treasure me? You can always say that you only wanted to disturb me.. By disturbing me, you are hurting me.... Probably you just want to say it and disturb me and ask me to get out of the car.. But have you ever thought of my feeling? ‘还不快点下车’。。。 I will remember how you chase me out of the car...


Do you know how to treasure? And again, you told me you love to disturb me... by disturbing me,you are hurting me when you purposely made me angry... So, do you love me or you love to make me angry and love to hurt me? Why dont you learn how to treasure a person at all?


Im holding on to my family. Im holding onto you. Im really tired. Real tired. Please, stop hurting me, will you? I really love you and I hope you are true towards me.


Maybe, I will never ever be the one and only in your heart.

No matter what happen, all of us deep down knows that we love this family. I cannot hold on to this family myself. If all of you chose to give up, no matter how hard I tried would be in vain. I always fight for what I want and I became what I am today. But is all that I'm doing worth it? Why can't we just learn to piece everything up together? I can't do all these alone. If you guys wanna commit suicide, I think I feel like doing it more than you do. Keeping quiet doesn't mean it's nothing to me, it just simply shows that I'm sick and tired of holding on. I hope this family won't split. Maybe my 21st birthday is the only way to bring back you all together . If you guys do not attend, I think we know the answer. Please, I pray that you guys turn up . We flow the same blood. And we should live as one. Why should we have doubt on each other? Why can't we learn how to treasure ...... Dear blog, you are the only one I could talk to right now.

Yours sincerely

Confessions

Dear blOg,

A little confession. Things are moving fast and the world is not stopping for me... The workload is too much to handle and the family that I had just makes me want to, get out of everything . Seriously, I always envy other kids born with silver spoon. They don't get to worry about monthly house allowance, neither do they need to bother about having enough money for studies. Put their hands out, and there they go with the money . I fight so hard to be what I am today and something I ask myself, is it worth my fight or is it my fight in the first place? Be it work, family or relationship, what is really worth the fight ?

Awww .... Blame my itchy hand again.... Blame my curiosity .... Blame my lost in faith and trust which leads me to another disappointment ... But, I tell myself , one needs to Learn how to forgive and forget in order to move on . Trust , when will you be back ? When would be the day ? How special is love in order to be the one and only ? Will I ever be the only
One and only in your heart? Or probably you can fit others in at times ?

What is love?

Everybody knows how to say I LOVE YOU. But learning how to love your love one with proper treatment is hard, love is something magical yet it's hard to fully understand what it meant.

Love is like a magic, you need to learn it, by only understand what it is wont really help much. You need to know how to use it and practise it. Different people have different perception of love. And whats yours?

When perception clash, there will be battlefield, clashing between perception will tell you no winner nor the loser, afterall its what we been harness since we were young.

No one like battlefield but the love keeo the both of you tie up together, because not much people can fully understand the words " I love you enough to let you go " Its rather hard to endure the pain and wound from the battlefield but often we believe if we managed to hang it on something magical would actually happen, unfortunately, it doesnt happen at all times.

There are 2 reasons/scenarios why God send someone come into your life, first God sent someone into your life but you might not ended up with happy ending, it is not because God want to hurt you, it is because God want you to learn something that particular person. Well the second one pretty much is happy ending.


Day and night my little heart keep praying and hoping that you will be my right one but who know? only God does, all we could do is learn in every single situations and improvise myself and learn from every single mistake that I made, if it doesn’t ended up with what I expected I hope it will be a sweet goodbye.


And thank god that He brought you into my life. I will never know if you are the right one for me till the day we grow old.


Love,
Bai Chi.

Maybe, maybe Im not a good girlfriend.... I have been working hard from morning till night at work during weekdays and during weekends i just yearn to hear your voice and recieve your sms....


I thought, that was a joke. But it turned out to be you are really angry with me? sigh. Okay, my fault for not smsing you. Did you reallly did not receive my sms?


speechless.